Hurtful Guilt
by Indonesian Thanatos
Summary: Indonesia never saw it coming. The person who wanted him to suffer was the one he loved most. One-shot


Title: Hurtful Guilt  
Fandom: Hetalia-Axis Powers  
Author: Thanatos  
Prompt: Forced to hurt somebody  
Medium: fic  
Paring: One-sided Indonesia x America  
Rating: T  
Warnings: Violence, yaoi, swearing  
Other: More or less OOC (Well, America is more or less OOC just to fit the prompt so…)  
Summary: Indonesia never saw it coming. The person who wanted him to suffer was the person that he loved the most.

* * *

A world meeting was taking place right now in America's place. France and England were fighting as usual along with Germany being bothered by Italy and Romano being pestered by Spain. America was late as usual and Prussia was there for some reason. Indonesia was sitting somewhere in the back, putting his head down on the table. He wanted to ignore everyone, especially the European countries, right now. He felt stressed because of what's going on at his place with Jakarta flooded and the election coming up.

'Dammit… When is going to fucking start?!' the half blind nation thought as the chaos went on.

* * *

America finally arrived after a while. The reason why he was late this time is because of his new boss that was elected after the last one served his two terms. For some reason, this new boss wanted to make the countries fear America, so he chose Indonesia as his first target.

"THE HERO HAS ARRIVED!" the American announced very loudly as he entered the room, making heads turn. England was the first to speak,

"Where the bloody hell have you been?!" the Brit demanded as America walked up to the front,  
"Mm…" he had to lie, "McDonalds! Why?"  
"B-B-Know what. I don't want to know." England sighed as he sat down. Germany yelled so that everyone would shut up, sit down, and listen for once. Then he said that he would start first.  
After a while, it was soon lunch break and everyone but Indonesia and America were left in the room. Indonesia was organizing his things before he left while America waited for the perfect timing to 'send the message'. He didn't want to do this to Indonesia but… orders are orders. The superpower nation walked up to Indonesia and tapped on his left shoulder, causing the dark brown haired man to rub it.

'Oh yeah… He's sensitive on that side…'

Indonesia turned his head to face America,

"Apa, America?" he asked. He didn't admit it, but he actually loved that American from his loud personality to his freaking appetite. He smiled a bit at the American. America gulped silently and raised one of his arms to aim at Indonesia's right eye. The Indonesian looked a bit scared,

"Ameri-" he was cut off as he was punched and thrown back into the wall, his right lens on his glasses shattered,  
"A-apa sih?!"

America walked towards the injured Indonesian and kicked him in the stomach really hard, making Indonesia breathless.

"A-America…" Indonesia didn't know why America was doing this to him. What did he do?! He didn't have time to think because he was hauled up to his feet and pinned to the wall. America had a guilty look on his face but Indonesia didn't notice. He punched Indonesia again and again. This went on for about 20 minuets before Indonesia passed out from the pain. The blonde looked at Indonesia's unconscious and injured form, looking like he was going to cry,

"I-I'm so sorry…" he whispered as the break was nearly over. He walked away from the room.  
When the break was over, everyone went back to the room. The first thing they noticed was the crack on the wall. The second thing the other countries noticed was Indonesia, lying on the floor looking battered. England called an ambulance to get over here. Once the ambulance was there, Indonesia was loaded up on a gurney to be taken to the hospital.  
Indonesia suffered numerous injuries, ranging from a mild concussion to having his left eye patched up again along with several broken ribs. Some countries visited Indonesia while he was in the hospital while the others either moved on or trying to find who was responsible for the assault on the archipelago nation. America sometimes visited but only when the others left. He didn't want anyone to know that he did this.

* * *

When America went inside the Indonesian's room one day during one of his visits, Indonesia was awake. He saw America and screamed for the nurses to get him out of his room but was stopped by America running towards him and covering his mouth so the voice can be heard less. Once the screaming stopped he uncovered Indonesia's mouth, making said nation promise not to scream. The pissed off Indonesia complied and glared at the blonde American,

"What do you want?" he demanded, "You're the one who banged me up randomly, so why are you here?"  
"Well… Because I er… wanted to apologize but I didn't want to do it!" America replied guiltily, "Look, I'm sorry for what happened but I didn't want to do it… I was ordered to…"  
The Indonesian looked at the American, a bit shocked but still angry,  
"…I don't care. I'm not forgiving you."  
"I don't expect you to but I promise I won't hurt you." America promised,  
"I don't care, America. I'm going to tell."  
"Please! Don't tell… They'll blame me…"  
"Why should I care?!"  
"B-because…well…"  
"I DON'T CARE! GET O-" and before the Indonesian knew it, America wrapped his arms around him in a hug, gentle enough not to hurt him but firm enough to not let him move,  
"Please…"  
"I said no" Indonesia growled,  
"Please… Cahaya…" America pleaded, using Indonesia's human name. Indonesia sighed heavily. Yes, he loved that American but… he felt torn.

"I-I'll…do anything…just don't tell…" and as Indonesia heard that, the insane part of his mind wanted to take advantage of that offer while the sane part of his mind said that America is tricking him. He decided, well…maybe that America would stick to the deal and actually have feeling for him.

"…Fine… just…kiss me…" Indonesia said, feeling a bit embarrassed about the last part. America caught what he said but wanted to make sure,  
"Y-you want me to…"  
"Y-ya… kiss me…" Indonesia confirmed as America released him from the hug.

America was confused about the Indonesian's request but if it was worth keeping his secret...Then what can hurt? He looked at Indonesia for a couple of seconds before leaning in and kissing the small man full on the lips.

Indonesia was a bit surprised that the American would actually kiss him.  
'He must be that desperate to keep that a secret...' He thought as he kissed back. He smiled as America broke the kiss,  
"Will you not tell?" He asked, using the puppy eyes even he knew that he already convinced Indonesia.  
"...Yeah...I-I'm not telling..."  
"Thanks man." And with that, he gave Indonesia a smile before he got up and left. The bed ridden nation sighed to himself as the blonde American left,  
'America...' He thought sadly as he looked down at his arms.

* * *

Several weeks later, Indonesia was finally released from the hospital and back to his home. He had been wondering how the other countries were doing and well...He was going to find out soon.

* * *

America already 'sent the message' to both the Italy brothers and France along with England. He felt like he was the villain in this plot...and it all started with a power hungry boss.

* * *

Indonesia already heard about what happened from the countless reports coming at his desk.  
'Everyone..I'm sorry...but I can't tell...Please forgive me...'  
He sighed to himself. He loved America but... He was certain that America didn't love him back.  
'This web of hurt' he thought sadly as he continued to read over the reports,  
'Why must it be weaved?'

* * *

America was crying right now in his bed. He had more countries being afraid of him, running away from the mere sight of him,  
'Please...forgive me...' He thought as he kept crying, eyes shut and letting the darkness envelop his vision.

* * *

A/N: Phew...At least this was done. I'm planning on doing more so..stay tuned, I guess

Translations: Apa=What. Apa Sih= What the hell.


End file.
